The GIVER

I have given you everything that you want.

Can you give me everything that I want?

What you wanted is something that you desired for yourself and your family.

What I want is something that will only benefit you and your family.

So can you also be a GIVER like me?

Christmas Season - Santa time

Each one of us has received gifts at some point of time in our life. Most often, we receive gifts from people we know. The joy that one feels is for everyone around to see when one opens the gift-wrappings.

As a kid, I used to eagerly wait for Christmas Eve. I used to hope that Santa would come and gift me something I desired for during that age. Most elders and family members always stated that Santa would only gift you something if you were a good kid throughout the year. After that, they used to remind me of the bad things I might have done and why Santa would not gift me anything in that case.

However, my parents would try to figure out what I really wanted before Christmas. Alternatively, they would buy something that would make me happy.  Under the disguise of Santa, my parents would keep a gift under the Christmas tree that I would find the next morning when I would wake up.

This continued for a few years until I grew up and my parents updated me that Santa would stop visiting me, as I was no longer a kid. Around the same time, I realized that Santa was just an imaginary character in the life of us kids. This hurt me more than the fact that I would not receive gifts from Santa any more. It took me some time to overcome the lie with which I had grown up.

However, at quite a later stage in my life when I looked back over those years, I realized that gifts were just one way of expressing love and care by those people who were close to us. Gifts could be in form of material objects, people, a feeling, or even kind words that make the other person happier or less sad.

Each one of us is a Santa to our loved ones. My parents made me happy when I was a kid during the Christmas season by taking the form of Santa.

Now, I am 30 years old and am still waiting for Santa during the Christmas season. Yes, you read it right.

The reason being for the last 2 years at my workplace, we have been playing Secret Santa. For people who are not aware, Secret Santa is a Christmas tradition in which a person in a group is randomly assigned another person in the group to whom they anonymously give a gift.

So are you planning to be a Santa for your loved ones?

Wishing you and your families a very Happy Christmas.

Thank you...

I had been for a funeral of a neighbor today who was in his 60s. This uncle was very sick since the last 2 months and had health issues from the start of this year. My mom did update me about him being serious since the last 3 weeks. He finally passed away a couple of days back.

He was a very jolly person from what I knew about him. The priest and his wife only confirmed the same at his funeral ceremony. However, what touched me about his final days is the following incident.

Just a few days before his death, he asked his wife for a piece of paper and a pen. He started making a note of people involved in his life that he wanted to thank. I understand that his family members have already passed and would pass on the message to others on behalf of him.

Here is a person writhing in pain in hospital for the last 2 months. For some reason, he felt he would not make it. What does he do? Thanked all the people who played an important role in his life. I never heard something like this before. What an amazing thought from his side at his deathbed.

Life does not give such an opportunity to all of us. Some of us will pass away all of a sudden. I know there might be a big list of people in our life with whom we might have not been happy. However, there might be many others, who might feel the same about us too. Is it worth holding these ill feelings inside us?

We might not get an opportunity as this uncle got, or maybe we might not be in a good frame of mind during our sickness to have such a positive thought. Just imagine how nice would it be if we could continuously appreciate the role of people that have played a positive influence in our life. A small thank you would really go a long way in making someone’s day.

I do not want to regret later on missing saying, “Thank you…” Thanks uncle for the wonderful lesson that you taught many others and me through your death. Cheers Uncle!

Ladder 49: Value your life

I was watching a movie titled Ladder 49 today. This movie released in 2004 is about the heroics of a firefighter Jack Morrison trapped inside a warehouse fire. He recollects all the events during his lifetime in this period. The movie is a celebration of the firefighting career and the life that comes with it.

In today’s world, we see so many youth amongst us taking their lives. For this reason, I just felt like writing when i finished watching this movie.

When everything around me was in flames,

Moreover, the fire reduced all my possessions to ashes.

When the only thing I wished was to survive,

You were there.

You were there when I needed you most.

When everyone else tried to run out,

You had the courage to step in.

The only thing that mattered to you,

Was to save a life,

Save a life at any cost.

You did not think twice about your own life,

Or what would your family go through,

if you lost your life.

You were bold while performing your duty,

Wish we all were bold enough like you.

There are so many among us,

Who cannot cope with life’s struggles,

They seek the easier way out,

And try to end their own life.

Have we lost faith in the almighty?

Don’t we trust him to take care of us?

Do we think he will burden us with so much?

Without knowing how much each one of us can handle.

Life is precious.

If not for yourself, live for others to whom you mean a lot.

All alone...

You were around…

• When I came into this world
• When I shed my first tears
• When I laughed for the first time
• When I said my first words
• When I started to walk
• When I went to school on the first day
• When I received my results at school
• When I went to college
• When I got married

You were around…

• When we as a family had our difficulties
• When we needed an eager ear to listen to us
• When our family extended
• When dad was unwell

Now, you have grown old and look who is around you…

• No One

We your children have all settled down in life, some far and some close…

Why is life so tough that we have to let you live you all alone?

Wish you could spend more time with us your children. However, for now, we respect your decision to live life the way you want to, as you have lived your entire life for us. We know you have your own daily routine there. We would not like you to feel that we have locked you in a cell, in a different city, all by yourself when we go to work. Moreover, as long as you take care of your health, we are fine with the current situation.

It is just the thought that you have no one around you, for whom you have always been around, which does not make us feel nice.

Good News?

Well I went to Church for the Sunday Service yesterday. However, this article has nothing to do with the good news or the word of god.

I have been married for about 16 months now and people who I know frequently ask me a question. Yes, this question is about the Good News. I was not so prepared to answer this question the first few times. Frankly, I did not expect so many relatives to ask me this question. However, now it has got to a point where I felt I should write about my experience so far.

Well for all people who yet do not know what good news means? This means people around you are actually interested in knowing when you intend to become a parent.

I cannot understand why everyone around is so interested in knowing about this. What pleasure do they get in knowing about this? I feel relatives must leave this decision to the married couple alone, as in a way this is invading in their married life. I wonder if this is one way of finding out whether the couple is sexually active. I know that no one would have the guts to ask that question straightforward. Hence, probably they ask this question.

For the start, I did not even know what my uncles, aunties, cousins, and colleagues were trying to ask me:

•          So when is the family expanding?
•          Are you hiding anything?
•          How is your wife’s health doing?

Yes, all of these questions meant only one thing. When do you intend to become a parent? Worst part was recently I was asked a question by a relative who happened to be a bachelor. He asked, “When are you giving the good news?” This question came unexpectedly. His parents did not bother to ask me that. This person is yet to get married. Wondering, what pleasure it would give him in hearing about the good news.

My wife’s and my first family have never asked this question and I respect them for that.  Infact, as I understand, my parents never asked this question to anyone else in the family. Still everyone around considers this as their moral right and ask this question without any shame.

I have replied to this question in my anger a couple of times. Six months into my marriage, one elderly uncle asked me this question. I told him uncle, your son took 5 years to become a parent, give me some consideration atleast. That made him quiet. I guess my response stunned him. I wonder if this happens only in Indian culture, or relatives in all countries subject married couples to this question.

Well, I would not like to share private details with everyone around on when I plan to raise a family. When the time comes and with god’s blessings, everyone will get the good news. I wonder what is there to hide when the times does come.

Well, I have always been a planner. For all who do not know, I jokingly told my friends about 3-4 years back that I would get married on May 7, 2011. Yes, I did that. Well this is the day my parents got married in 1971. I always thought that I would get married when I was 29-30, which I again did. I know you might ask me whether I am serious when I tell you that my wife’s parents also got married on that same date many years back. Well, this was a real co-incidence. That was not in my list J

I wonder if the next time people around me do ask me about the good news, I should just state, 05/10/15. This date is not in my list either. J However, that should make a few people quiet for the time being atleast.

If you are married, did you face this question? How did you handle this situation? 

Yes, it is that old...

How old am I?
30 years

How old is this shirt since I first started wearing it?
15 years

Yes, it has been 15 years since I started wearing this Levi Strauss shirt and I last wore it about a month back. My brother gifted me this shirt then. I myself cannot believe that I have worn this shirt for so long. It is difficult to part with something that has been in one’s wardrobe for so long. However, I have finally decided to give it away. This is not because the shirt has worn out, but because I cannot fit into the shirt anymore. Hope, someone can still reuse the shirt for some time. J

Happy Wedding Anniversary Wilma

It is only a year since we started this journey as a married couple together,
However, it feels like it has been long since we have known each other.
Like most married couples for the start, we too had our share of difficulties,
Nevertheless, what matters now is how strongly we have overcome our initial anxieties.

It is good that we were similar in some aspects,
As else, the going could have been tougher is what I suspect.
All I can say is for every single one of the arguments I initiated,
You surely played the role of the calming influence and were unaffected.

I really like you for what you are,
Hence, I do not want you to change even one bit just for me.
If there is something that really needs to change completely,
It is my temper, which I now finally display only occasionally.

For the start, you really played the role of a homemaker perfectly,
Now that you are working, you continue to balance the house responsibilities so diligently.
The only thing I wish for you my dear, loving wife,
Is that I continuously improve on my efforts at being a good spouse in this life.

Republic Day – January 26

Colors saffron, white, and green,
With a navy blue Ashoka Chakra in between,
This is the pattern of the national flag of India.
A result of the sacrifice of countless great souls,
The tricolor represents the struggle in achieving India's greatest goals.


Saffron symbolizes courage and sacrifice,
White indicating truth, unity, and peace,
Green standing for faith and fertility,
All in one flag reflecting India's ethnicity.

Mumbai - The Local Train

Travelling in a Mumbai train,

One can observe most commuters’ faces in anger and pain.

Hardships of the people living in this city is for all to see,

A humble living for their family seems to be their only plea.

The cost of living is high for no good reason,

What will one buy and what will one save.

Half of one’s life goes in travelling through these crowded trains,

A sound sleep is all they desire at the end of the day.

Is that too much to expect in this earthly life?

Some of us have so much; still our desires never cease to end,

If only we could all retrospect, and think of all that we have.

Will it not make our life richer… with happiness?

The journey from another hard day at work and travel has almost ended,

However, even as you reach your destination you are pushed around and out from the moving train.

You just think of the day that was as you walk the final steps towards home,

Moreover, you start preparing yourself mentally for the next day, when you would recommence your journey.

Yes, it is the crowded train once again.

The Christmas Season

It is that time of the year again,
When children hang stockings on Christmas Eve.
They wake up eagerly the next day,
As gifts from Santa Claus is what they all expect to receive.

Now that I have developed into (what I think of myself as) a mature adult,
I try to find the true meaning of the Christmas season every passing year.
For some people this is the season of the spirit of giving,
While for some, it is a time to be merry and have no fear.

Just as our professional and personal goals change year after year,
The reason for celebrating the Christmas season continues to evolve.
I am a bit confused on how to celebrate my first Christmas as a married man,
How I wish Santa, could come a bit early, and resolve the dilemma in which I am.

Connecting with GOD

(This article written by me was published in the August-September issue of the Our Lady of Egypt Church Parish Bulletin, Olep Flight)

The last decade has seen a spurt in the use of mobile phones. Mobile phones have become a big necessity in our lives. From starting our day with the alarm ringing on our mobile phone to wake us up, to reminders for birthdays, anniversaries and meetings, no other instrument has been able to control us so much as this small hand held device. Just think about it.

Using the mobile phone, one can constantly stay in touch with family and friends at our fingertips. One message or one call is all it takes at times to catch the attention of the opposite person. The mobile phone has been one of the most interesting inventions. Moreover, this has helped us all to connect with each other.

Most of us Christians visit the Church to attend the service. While some of us visit the Church daily, most of us only attend the Sunday service. Why do we visit the Church? Well, most of us do it so that we can connect with GOD. While some of us do it, just to fulfill our religious obligations.

Anyways, the reason is not important here. Once a person decides to attend the service, it is the responsibility of the person to ensure that he or she does not, directly or indirectly cause inconvenience to the congregation.

I am not going to talk about the dressing part here that is not what I want to do. However, coming back to mobile phones, I fail to understand that if a person has decided to come to Church to connect to GOD, why that person cannot switch off the mobile phone. I know we will have some excuses for that too. Important calls, urgent messages, and so on. Valid reasons one might say.

However, I am sure that every mobile phone on earth has an option to keep the device on Silent mode. If the call or message is so important or urgent when we are in Church, why do we not use this feature then? At least, it will not cause inconvenience to the faithful, who are a large number, gathered in the Church.

From my personal observations in the recent past, most of the time the mobile phone beeps, the device belongs to an adult or an elderly person. More often than not, they do not know how to use the mobile phone features, and struggle to switch off the device or keep the device in silent mode for that matter. Children nowadays are more knowledgeable in handling such devices, and at least they use the silent mode feature at a minimum in the Church.

I hope I have not offended anyone’s feelings with all that I have written. I just wanted to state my perspective, which is, “Once you are in Church, you decide for yourself, you have come there to CONNECT with whom?”

This one is for you, Sister.

Growing up as a kid involved a lot of fun,

As I had two siblings and I was their loved one.

My sister was quite elder to me and hence was very protective of me as a kid,

Hence, I felt like she was my second mom and about that, I am candid.

She being the eldest sibling and I the youngest, ninety-nine percent of the time we always got along,

Hence, whenever I had fights with my elder brother, I got all the support even if I was in the wrong. :-)

My sister used to experiment a lot in her recipes, and I enjoyed watching her cooking,

However, the best part was her recipes turned out good every time, about that I am not lying.

She got married when I had just completed my schooling,

So living a life without her presence at home, I started adapting.

At a time, when I was growing into adolescence and increased feelings for the opposite sex,

I missed my sister's presence, started lacking the confidence to interact with girls and at times was feeling like a wreck.

Someone did say that time is the best healer, and this definitely seemed the case,

As I grew into a man, everything in life started falling in place.

Now that I am married, and look at the way you have brought up your two kids,

I can only sense what you might be feeling, as to you more than a brother I was a kid.

I had just started scribbling few lines thinking about you on my writing pad,

Here I am thanking you SISTER, for all the good times we had.

Who will help me carry him?

The movie Gladiator that released in the year 2000 had quite a few good dialogues. However, the sequences of dialogues towards the end of the movie always makes me emotional.  

After a fight between Maximus the main protagonist of the movie and Commodus the emperor of Rome, where both men die, the following dialogues follow.

Lucilla: Is Rome worth one good man's life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again. He was a soldier of Rome. Honor him.

Gracchus: Who will help me carry him?

[Gladiators surround the body of Maximus and carry him out of the arena]

The dialogue  “Who will help me carry him?” reminds me of the times I have had to carry a few men in my family to their final resting place. It is definitely not a good feeling. In the last 5 years, this has happened quite a few times already.

• Charles Dias, My Dad, 2006
• Victor Fernandes, My Uncle, 2007
• Eric Sequeira, My Cousin’s Husband, 2010
• Philip Dias, My Uncle, 2010

I can just say "May Their Souls Rest In Peace".

Today

Exactly a year since the time, we first met.

Exactly 100 days since the time, we got married.

The first part you remembered, the second I did.

 :-)

White Mischief

(This poem written by me was published in the quarterly edition of the Avaya Newsletter - Khabrilal)

Be content

A pair of eyes to observe properly,

A pair of ears to hear clearly,

A pair of hands to get a lot of work done,

A pair of feet to walk and meet new people in the journey of life.

However, you have only mouth and that is for one good reason.

The words that you speak cannot be taken back and hence have the potential to make or break a relation,

You already have realized the damage that you could do with one mouth; imagine the trouble you would land yourself in with two.

Similarly, in life try to be happy with all that you have, you will surely get what you deserve.

In other words, thank GOD for all that you have and trust GOD for all that you need.

A drop is all it takes at times...

A drop of which no one wants to shed.
Blood


A drop of which is awaited by the person waiting to quench his/her thirst.
Water


A drop of which at times indicates joy or pain.
Tear


A drop of which signifies some physical effort.
Sweat


A drop of which signifies the start of a new season.
Rain


A drop is all it takes at times to indicate something BIG. Life teaches us many lessons that are so simple to understand, that we treat it like a small drop because they appear insignificant at that time. However, we fail to understand the impact of the same until that small drop becomes a huge ocean in our lives.

A Sign of Changing Times

To hear one's inner voice, a person does not go about locating answers inside oneself, but goes to a location outside called the Echo Point.

Not yet...

Have i been the perfect son that every mother desires?
Not yet.


Have i really been a good brother to my siblings?
Not yet.


Have i been the best colleague anyone could have at work?
Not yet.


Is my faith in God strong enough?
Not yet.


Has everything around me changed for the worse?
Not yet.


Have people lost faith in my abilities?
Not yet.


My time will surely come. 
So don't come me out yet. Not yet....

(Thought of writing this poem while watching the movie Gladiator)